I was thinking about writing an article including my thoughts about this topic earlier but finally it was a good choice to wait until the end of August 2014 for two reasons : The beginning of summer is either way exciting and people usually have high expectations about it and one of them is this exact feeling of relief and freedom. The second and most important reason pops out from the fact that every experience in our life has something to teach us. During the past months i realized i had a doubt on answering straight to the question " Are you really free ? " .
After some sincere consideration of my daily routine,behaviour,thoughts and habits i definitely found out that the answer was a super big NO.I was not free . Most of my life i was not really free . When i was a teenager i was not free because i was worried too much about the opinion of others. Later i was not free because i was under the fear of failure . I was trying too hard not only to get what i want but also to ensure that i will not fail in anything. Once i realized these issues wouldn't let me breathe unless I face them straight. I worked my ass off till all of them were gone. So after this quite tiring and painful process i thought i was eventually free! Aaaaaaaand i was wrong !
I noticed that I was trapped in a situation i didn't like but I did nothing to quit . Usually in such cases you count on the possibility that things/people/cicrcumstances will change . Some time later you observe that everything remains the same but you are still there ! You see no possibility of success , you don't really believe it will work out but you are still there ! Why? Why don't you just leave? If you want to be happy why do you force yourself to face things that just cumber you,suck your energy and don't really help you be the best possible version of yourself?
That was a really common question i used to hear by close people and also a question i frequently made to my loved ones while they were suffering by their own choices . However, i couldn't find the answer even to my own attitude !
I ended up realizing that my obsession to keep everyone satisfied is the major cause of it . The main reason i give second ( third,fourth,fifth,......) chances all the time, even if i have multiple proofs that nothing will change, is basically that i can not handle hurting people . Everyone has made mistakes , so did i. A sense of guilt and disappointment from my own self made me struggle in my desperate try to satisfy everyone even if this required giving my 10000% to any person/situation , sacrificing my own needs or even accepting things i wouldn't normally do if those people weren't in my life .
What happens next? When you are under such circumstances, you are not free to be yourself , you compress your needs/desires/opinions/way of expression so deep inside that you eventually forget who you really are. Every single disappointment you face coming from lack of appreciation to you and your effort, lifts those forgotten tales, your cracked boundaries, unsatisfied needs, a bit higher till they reach up to the surface . Then, they remind you who you used to be and slap you so hard that you finally wonder why did you do this to yourself . The main blame is on you. Not on the person that didn't appreciate you , it was your choice after all . When people treat you poorly, disrespect you, take you for granted and do not appreciate you it is their choice but this is not an excuse to let yourself suffer, no matter what . They are automatically listed as inappropriate for you. Turn the page and go save yourself. They won't change nor realize the damage they cause to you, even as a "backfire". Even when we make mistakes, we mature and we try to make up for them. There is no worst torture when you are trying to change/ improve/ make up for something than someone who does not appreciate it and not only refuses to see but keeps on reviving the past on his own despite the fact that everything is different!Back to my story : You can't satisfy everyone, all on the same time . Lesson learnt the hard way .
I always wanted to, however no matter how hard i tried i never managed to every person around me satisfied. And even if i made it for some time - it was still a disatisfied person here. ME .
Life is a mixture of joy and sorrow , smiles and tears and this is how it should be . You need a little touch of sadness to appreciate happiness . And this is valid for everyone in this world .
If someone makes you lose yourself , suck you mentally day after day, doesn't let you free to be yourself and offers more negativity than smiles then there is no point of stressing nor carrying for that person. If someone doesn't care for your health why should you give everything you've got to that person?
But what is freedom after all ? It's the feeling you get when you wake up in the morning with a biiiig smile and you breathe normally . Without something cumbering your chest . It's when you feel your life is a long highway which you can ride as fast or slow as you want and choose your stations . When you know who you are , what do you want and you set your destination with no doubts. Until you finally get there , your journey will make you rich in experiences based on the choices you are going to make . You will get even more mature and you will be able to handle your success of reaching your goal in the best possible way . And the best of all ? You will finally be proud of yourself and grateful for all the choices you made in the past. Even the bad ones. No empathy or selfishness will survive through this journey . Only the powerful new you , free to be yourself and love you the way you are . Those who really deserve to be your fellow travellers will follow , support you and celebrate every small or big success of you . Those who drag you back don't deserve to be an issue in your life so don't you ever feel guilty for letting them go .
And this is the end of this article and of this chapter of my life . Hope my text was helpful and filled you with positive thoughts to seize your day. Be yourself , carpe diem and be FREE to live your life the way you want to . You have only one life , make it as complete and happy as you can . You deserve it !
Is there anything you want to share/ask? Feel free to contact me , thank you for visiting my blog .
Till next update , take care and smile :D !
Hugs,
Irina
CONTACT INFORMATION
Skype : irina.alexopoulou
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YouTube Channel ( click here to view my channel )
CONTACT INFORMATION
Skype : irina.alexopoulou
Facebook : ( click on the word to view my profile )
YouTube Channel ( click here to view my channel )
