Self Improvement with Irinä: Motivation: Give it all and don't regret

Welcome back sunshine beams!

Barcelona, Spain. March 2019

I have been thinking of composing this article for a good amount of time but had to delay it for a very specific reason. I have been processing my thoughts a lot and some of them have been constantly changing from time to time, hence I felt the need to wait for them to mature and stabilize before I invest the time to write them down.

As you probably assumed from the title already, my point of view (nowdays) is that we really need to give it all on something we want or believe to, with no regrets. However, this is not always an easy case, especially when you invest effort, time, emotions, hope towards a receptor ( a person, a goal, a situation etc) that means a lot to you. The reduction or total lack of expectations regarding any investment can protect you from being hurt or disappointed by the receptor itself in case you do not receive a feedback in return, which more or less describes the state of unconditional effort. The case of regreting your investment afterwards is a whole different story and can be present even upon unconditional occasions. It can hurt, devastate, shake everything around and make an individual doubt; BUT nothing hurts as much as the regret of NOT doing something you deeply wanted to.

I clearly remember a random day, many years ago, when I spotted a quote while scrolling on Google.
"Dead people receive more flowers that alive ones because the power of regret is greater than the power of appreciation". The more you sit down and process this sentence, the more you realize the enormous truth in it. That is exactly how it kicked in, right in the feels and made me question the times I regreted not doing what my heart commanded. I came to the conclusion that even though I consider myself spontaneous and expressive, there have been significantly many times when I compressed my self-expression, my feelings, needs, thoughts and dreams, mainly because of fear.
Fear of getting hurt, fear of investing too much on something that will not work out, fear of getting disappointed, fear of demystifying an occasion/person, fear of mistreatment and so on. People are so diverse and every single individual can hold himself back in terms of expression and/or actions for different reasons such as fear, selfishness, insecurity, sadism, etc. It didn't get long before I figured out that I have lost nearly the same amount of memories, experiences, shared emotions as a person who misses them because of a bad reason, selfisness for example. That was the slap I needed to understand that fear is equally harmful and restrictive for this journey we call Life.

The hardest thing for me was not to realize that fear steals the most intense part of our experiences. The REAL struggle was to alter my attitude and actions while still being afraid. There will always be risk, uncertainty, loss, mistreatment, injustice and pain, that's a part of the game. However, so are the happiness, glory, magic, surprise, affection, success, greatness and mutuality that might occur if we decide to be brave and authentic each and every moment. Everything we have missed already because we held it behind, is stored within a chest, deep inside our hearts. The more we compress, the heavier the weight and thus the lower we flow. That weight is the power of regret, which hurts more than anything else. It blocks our airways, it doesn't let us perform our best, it prevents us from having the full experience and it always stains even the best possible outcome.

This exact pain can be the ultimate motivation to cut down on this habit, even though the fear is still present in its entirety or partially (in case we are working on it). From that point, there are more to win that to lose when you set yourself free and give it all. Best case scenario, you get a positive outcome. Worst case scenario, you go through some unpleasant situation but still you have inner peace, zero weight to cumber your soul and a bunch of lessons and chances to evolve and become stronger in order to support yourself properly through uncertainty.

As all great things are difficult, it becomes obvious that time is a basic compound of this transitional procedure, for a reason. The more we build up our strength, the more we learn to trust ourselves even when nothing makes sense. The more we trust ourselves, the faster we recover in case things turn bad. The faster we recover, the more willing we are to dare again and take risks and consequently risks are gateways to greatness.

From time to time, we learn to enjoy the journey, we understand that risk is correlated to the importance and value of an outcome.

What do you choose to settle for? All in or all out? Mediocrity? Are you really happy with your choices?

Question yourself and trust your inner voice. You are the only one who has nothing to lose.

I hope this article influenced or guided you to search deeper in your heart and understand how much courage it took for you to give it all even when your effort was mistreated or disrespected. I hope you realize that your empathy, sensitivity and emotional side are all gifts for you and you should never let any bad situation change this awesome sunlight that you are. You might be afraid to start over, you might be scared to open up, share and invest but no failure, no dissapointment should hold you back from the potential to experience a life full of pearls. Shoot for the moon and you will land among the stars. Keep shining, keep loving, keep on kindness and take care till the next update.

Feel free to reach me about your thoughts, requests or questions.

Much love,

Irinä