Hey everyone!It feels pretty cool to be back with some motivational writing after a pretty turbulant and unstable covid period. Jumping straight to the point, this arcticle presents a point of view around 'restart' in life.
How many times have you noticed that you have changed?
How many times did you catch yourself thinking differently on a topic or specific situation?
How many times did you feel that what you once wanted is not compatible with your current needs and life plan?
Wheither it comes from conscious introspection or spontaneous occasions, it is certain that you have/will face periods that you barely recognize yourself. Sometimes in a surprising extend.
As human beings we are meant to evolve biologically and spiritually. I have mentioned countless times before, that growth is a natural and healthy thing, but it is not always comfortable or easy to be mindful, accept it and act upon it.
Our experiences definitely have power over us, they shape our database of stimulations where each and every one of them presents different options, that we have to take or discard. It's not so much about what happens to us, rather what we choose to do at any given moment that constructs our own unique map of evolution.
The facts, or stimuli themselves, can act as 'stations' in our timeline that we are meant to revisit here and then. Every time we get a 'deja vu' of something we encountered before, we can spot the level of similarity our response has, with our previous encounter.
What do we do when we realize that we have differentiated in such an extend that we think, feel and act in a totally new way? That's where the first trap appears.
WHY DO WE STRUGGLE?
Sometimes, the human brain is particularly observative, active and ready to reshuffle the deck. Some others, it is not. Usually that is a consequence of extensive mental 'clutter' which occupies all the available space for clear thinking and objective assessment. Complementary, the brain can ignore or discard the 'call' for re-examination because an individual is stuck at a certain spot and does not feel ready to make any drastic changes.
A trickier situation that causes equal frustration, is when you are presented with a whole new reality, very suddenly. This can happen when circumstances change rapidly and you are technically forced to interact with them, while the sequence of events have been out of your realm of control. In such cases, anger, frustration, fear, disappointment can interplay as well, making your brain overreactive along with all the emotional tension. However, it is mostly certain that tracing back, you can find at least one spot that your own choice got you into this path, even at an early stage.
One way or another, accepting that some of the choices you made neither serve your current self nor your vision, can be a hard cookie to digest. Blaming yourself is never healthy and manually regulating your inner critic can make all the difference between a person who gets sunk in the mud and a person who struggles but makes it out.
Life is not fair most of the times, but being in charge of yourself is your superpower, and what will eventually determine your route.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Whenever you catch yourself somewhere you don't belong anymore, you have to assemble every drop of courage and hit that restart button.
It might sound scary because you're technically jumping further out of your comfort zone but that's the beauty of it. The places, activities, habits and people you surround yourself with, shape you. Therefore it's vital to leave the 'places' you have outgrown, otherwise you will never be able to level up. In best case scenario, parts of this environment (ex. people) evolve alongside with you and can still fit in your expanding self. There are times that your environment, in its majority doesn't promote you to grow anymore and that's the spot you when have to let things go. As much uncomfortable, awkward, scary and uncertain it might be, you have to remember that you are the CAPTAIN in your life, not just a passenger. Your power lays there in your hands, to be in charge and choose to grow,
WHY DO WE HESITATE TO RESTART EVEN WHEN WE SEE THE NECESSITY?
Of course, as all drastic changes, it is easier s
aid than done. You might feel weak, scared or even guilty for detaching yourself from whatever is holding you back, and it will certainly hurt and shake you. We are beings that we prefer a stable routine. However a routine that comes out of being stall is different than the one that you construct based on what you actually need right now. Which bring me to the next point:
Staying to a place you've outgrown actually hurts more than moving on. That happens because your self is subconsciously very aware of what you need. All the frustration, irritation, anxiety, anger, suffocation you feel when you are stuck, are all indicators that this state is not beneficial for you anymore. When this goes longterm, chances are you realize it consciously, you feel it, you know you need to move on, but... you hesitate. And you keep postponing it.
Impulsive life changes are scarcely a good move and they have higher chance of success if you take the time to study them, plan ahead and take enough time to adjust your mindset around it. However, that too, has a particular range of being 'healthy and secure management'. Outside of this range, it is just procrastination.
In life, it's very easy to miss opportunities or remain stuck because you are waiting for the 'right timing'. Timing certainly plays a role but things will never be 100% ideal for any given step. So, expecting that everything will be aligned and stable to get the leap of faith, will simply never happen. In contrast, the only stability you NEED to do so, is within your own self. Taking the time to catch up with yourself, figure out what you are happy with and what you are not, what you could do to improve your life, what you need and where do you want to go, will show you your action plan.
When you are honest and solid with what you go for, you can always rely to your support system. That can be your family/friends/pets, certain activities, small changes that boost your confidence and mood to tone you up. When you look after yourself, you immediately program your brain to think that you're worth taking care of. You feel better, you are more put together and consequently more able to concentrate on the hard task.
YOU HAVE TO BE CONSISTENT
Another frequent trap is dropping the towel, half way through. When you've made your decisions, constructed your plan, started to detach and change things, suddenly you take steps backwards. This is often a self-protective reflex when you start interacting with the new reality. You have to be very consistent with your decision and persist in your path. Don't go back to the place you ran away from, just because it is more familiar. Keep going. Your support system will be there for you along with your new goals and the new fruitful future ahead.
Every single step you choose to take forward instead of backwards will act as a little brick to build up your
self confidence. It will be an extra supporting voice to help you pull through. It will be an extra breath to take you far enough to a new land where you can shape your own reality. Progressively, you will start getting more excited about what is yet to come than what you leave behind. If you keep going you will have one more hardship gone and feel strong enough to accomplish this restart at its finest.
Then, you can inhale and reward yourself. You made it! You are stronger than when you begun. Now the canvas has enough space for you to add whatever you need and create a new reconstructive reality, grow and attract anything that suits your current self. You will be free of doubt and also free to set goals. Dreaming itself is a little risky as expectations hurt when they are not met. But goals work the other way around. They rely on your own careful planning, observation and ability to adjust the action plan. If you put the effort in, you will eventually get there, a stronger, better version of yourself.
The next time you will encounter your previous check point, you will realize how far you have come, you will question yourself again and you will know where you are at and what do you want. That way you will never feel lost, as you, will be the most accurate compass.
So, don't be afraid to restart. It's the ultimate sign of your own ability to shape your reality. It is something healthy, an act of responsibility and maturity. It will never be easy, but every time will be less turbulent, the more you build up your inner stability. Believe in yourself, as hard as you wish great things to happen. Put that work in and you will never lose.
Until next time,
Take care.
Irina
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